i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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