my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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