my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
