before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
