We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
