I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
