if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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