Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
