Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
