It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
