I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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