garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
farters have to be the big spoon...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
