Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize