2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
