Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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