your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
