I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
