Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
