just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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