you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
