Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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