She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
