the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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