Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize