just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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