Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize