Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
