I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
