so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
