I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize