I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
