So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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