dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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