So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
