He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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