I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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