this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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