The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My dick has a subreddit
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
