Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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