she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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