i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
