my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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