fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just pee around me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
