dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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