someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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