Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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