I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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