Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
