Welp...herpes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
