Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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