thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
