Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
