I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
