Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
