Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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