Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
