Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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