Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
