Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize