I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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