I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize