your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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