if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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