what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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