i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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