5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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