I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
