if you like me you must not know who I am
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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