Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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