He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
