Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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