so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
