It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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