I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
