they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
no you cant smoke seaweed
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
