I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
