physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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