He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
