1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
